Goodbye dear friend

The last few weeks have been really rough on me. First, I had a really stressful situation at work come up. Not appropriate for blogging, but if you want to know the gist of the story, let me know, I will tell you. That happened on a Monday. On Tuesday, I got an email from my cousin asking details about my aunt. She had been put on hospice, and nobody told me. To say I was very upset and shocked is an understatement.

My Aunt was diagnosed with a brain tumor last June. She went in for a routine MRI for other health issues she has dealt with for the past few years. I remember I was one of the first people she called. She expressed how scared she was. I said a lil prayer, and felt that everything would be ok. She had brain surgery to remove it and started chemo and radiation. She pulled through surgery and recovery much better and much faster than anybody thought she would. After her radiation was complete, they did an MRI to check their handiwork. The tumor showed new growth, and had spread to another lobe. They went in for brain surgery #2. They were both very small, and the doctors were confident. Again, she speed through recovery, and the neurologist was confident and very pleased with the results. The plan was to recover a few weeks and start the second round of chemo. Meanwhile, she sat down hard on the stairs at home, resulting in a compression fracture. She then had back surgery and was in the hospital for about a week. She was sent home with plans to start an in home physical therapy program. It turned out that she was just too week and was put into a skilled nursing facility to do therapy. This was the last I had heard until my cousin contacted me. In fact, just Thanksgiving weekend we were throwing ideas out on how to arrange the house so that she could hopefully be home for Christmas (She lived with my grandma). We were going to be getting out all the decorations as well.

Apparently, she had been sent to the hospital from the rehab facility. She was diagnosed as terminal at that point. She was conscious for a short time and made the decision to do no more chemo, and go on hospice. She spoke to her daughter on the phone, and told her she had seen my grandpa who passed away 10 years ago. At that point she basically lost consciousness and was drugged up for the ride to a hospice facility. She was transferred on Monday, and was gone Saturday morning. I was not able to go and see her during that week. I was not able to say goodbye.

Karen was one of my favorite people. I was never closer to anybody in my family than her. My grandma had the best description of our relationship. I was like her little sister. While thinking back to the very first time I met my aunt, I'm not sure weather to laugh or cry. I was 8 years old, and we were on our way to my grandma's house, where Karen also lived. The night before, my dad told us that his sister smoked and we still needed to be respectful towards her. I remember thinking "no way!" I grew up in a very sheltered town where pretty much nobody smoked, and those that did were surely bad people. When we got to the house, I was standing in the kitchen, and the doorway to the basement opened (insert horror music here) Out comes this lady running towards me saying "come here! give me a hug! I won't breath on you, I promise!" She may has well have said in her raspiest, creepiest voice ever, "come here little girl, I won't eat you, I promise!" as she left her smoked filled lair and the flames billowed up behind her. My feet were glued to the floor. I was petrified! there was nowhere to escape! From there, an inseparable friendship was born. (she eventually stopped smoking btw) We have stayed up all hours of the night just talking, laughing until our sides hurt, and being partners in crime. I don't cry tears of sadness, because I know that she is all better with no more pain. I cry tears of the memories shared, and tears of the realization that it will be a long time before I can make more memories with her.

The day after she died, my grandma called me to ask if I would like to come up, just to talk. We talked about everything. We laughed, we cried, we hugged. My grandma is not of my faith, but knows how important temple work is to me. She asked me if I would do Karen's work for her. It was a huge honor to be asked. I look forward to next Christmas when I will take her name and carry out her ordinances by proxy. I look forward to that special time that even though I won't be able to see her, she will be by my side once more. I'm so thankful for a Heavenly Father that has a plan that my family can be together forever. I'm so thankful that those who do not know Christ in this life have the opportunity to learn and accept in the next.